My life now is damn boring lorx..i really miss those 2yrs wif eddie..but now no longer can be like last time le..actually i really miss him very much..but i don dare to msg him..cos he already hate me so much until don wan to see dao my msg le..den wad for still go pester him..:( i miss ebenzer alot oso..but i don dare to go and see him..sigh!!!! i really don noe wad to do lorx..i really very fan..don noe wad he doing now..i think he muz be at outside wif gal ba..my heart really feel like going to see ebenzer de..but i scared if i go le,i will she bu de them..:( but i think ebenzer and eddie very fast jiu will forget me le ba..somemore now got 3 gal waiting for eddie to accept them..hope he really can find someone better than me de ba..sometimes i really hope eddie will come and find me and ask me for patch..but i noe is impossible le..he already give me so many chance le..but i keep disappoint him again and again..but he don noe not i don love him le..i got my own ku zhong..i still love him de..if not i oso wont keep on think of him and our memories le..i already very long nv saw eddie le..singapore so small,i cant even get to see him..:( Eddie sometimes i really hope u can be like last time like tat hold on to my hand and don let go..:( i really wan to be wif u again de..i wan to be wif u and hv our own family and house..but all tis now will be a dream le..actually frm the day i walk out of his hse my heart jiu really nv happy le..Although he like to control me alot..but i really very happy tis 2yrs..cos this shows tat i mean alot to him in his heart..but i destroy all tis happiness myself..:(