My life now is damn boring lorx..i really miss those 2yrs wif eddie..but now no longer can be like last time le..actually i really miss him very much..but i don dare to msg him..cos he already hate me so much until don wan to see dao my msg le..den wad for still go pester him..:( i miss ebenzer alot oso..but i don dare to go and see him..sigh!!!! i really don noe wad to do lorx..i really very fan..don noe wad he doing now..i think he muz be at outside wif gal ba..my heart really feel like going to see ebenzer de..but i scared if i go le,i will she bu de them..:( but i think ebenzer and eddie very fast jiu will forget me le ba..somemore now got 3 gal waiting for eddie to accept them..hope he really can find someone better than me de ba..sometimes i really hope eddie will come and find me and ask me for patch..but i noe is impossible le..he already give me so many chance le..but i keep disappoint him again and again..but he don noe not i don love him le..i got my own ku zhong..i still love him de..if not i oso wont keep on think of him and our memories le..i already very long nv saw eddie le..singapore so small,i cant even get to see him..:( Eddie sometimes i really hope u can be like last time like tat hold on to my hand and don let go..:( i really wan to be wif u again de..i wan to be wif u and hv our own family and house..but all tis now will be a dream le..actually frm the day i walk out of his hse my heart jiu really nv happy le..Although he like to control me alot..but i really very happy tis 2yrs..cos this shows tat i mean alot to him in his heart..but i destroy all tis happiness myself..:(

Sigh..i really very fan leix..i really don noe wad i really wan..i miss him very much..but i noe i cant miss him and think of him le..cos is i choose to let go of him de..but my mind keep on think wad he's doing now..he wif who now..he everyday msg who and talk to who on phone..i noe he now hate me alot..he say he don wan to see my msg seriously..he even told me tat even if he still love me,he oso wont patch wif me le..but i can understand how he feel..cos i hurt him too deep le..but i really don mean to hurt him de..i wan to be wif him back..i really think of going back to him de..but he too flirt le..i scared he will be like last time hurt me oso..i noe im selfish..but im really very scared..but he don noe wad im thinking and worried abt..he say he love me alot..and i hurt him too deep till he wont trust love anymore..but afew days later he still can hong gals in fb..sigh!!even if i love him alot..i oso don dare to go back to him..is like being wif him very insecure..but don noe y i jiu shi like to being wif him de feeling..my mind really cant stop thinking of him..but all tis word i hv to keep inside my heart..i actually got the chong dong to tell him i still love him..i wan to be wif him and married to him de..i still wan to hv our shantel ong lei lei de..but i noe i now don hv the right to tell him le..or maybe i forever hv to keep inside my heart le..sometimes i really wish he can come and find me,hug me tight tight and say he love me..but i noe now impossible le..he not like last time le..lastly i wan to say i really love u..i really do..i really hope we can be back together..but i noe he wont see my blog le..so he wont noe wad im thinking and writting de..

Already very long since i update my blog..but things now already diff le..everything hv been change..:( i now really very tong ku and sad..how i wish time can turn back to last time..i and eddie already no longer together le..he this time really wan to let go of my hand le..he wont be like last time hold on to my hand and don let go le..:( i tot i already don love him le..but when he say he an to let go of me i really very sad..i wan to be wif him..but becos of me make one big mistakes and going to lose him forever le..he say he now enjoying his life alot..of cos la..got so many gal can let him hong..me leh?nobody noe i very tong ku..i every night slp oso dream of him..i keep on ask myself  not to miss him le..but i still dream of him..-.- he still tot i now guo de very happy..i think is the other way round lorx..sigh!!! but at least i still got 2yrs de memories which i will forever rmb de..

                              This is the photo we take together when we work at ZJC..

           This photo is taken when we going to go and celebrate his birthday wif his fren..

                   This photo is taken when we wan to go to long chen da ri zi last yr..

                                                This photo was taken on my birthday..

                  This photo is taken during ebenzer 3yrs old birthday at bugis mos burger..

And this photo is taken before he went in..and oso the last photo i take together wif him de..:( this is oso my fav photo..

During these 2yrs,we taken alot of photo together..but all this photo will be memories le..wif him these 2yrs got happy oso got sad..i like him to care for me,scold me,control me and even plan everything hao hao for me..but now he no longer will care for me again le..i hv to learn to live without him by my side anymore le..this time is really without him le..i really miss him very much..but i hurt him too deep le..now he scared of me and don dare to get close to me le..:( when he say he scared of me,my heart really very pain..but i brought this upon myself de..he ask me learn to let go him..but i really cant mah..2yrs leix..not wan let go jiu can de..but now he's moving ahead le..although i still love him alot and miss him alot..but i hope he really can be happy an guo he an de life..i will always rmb him de..he's the only guy i love the most..